I Hope This City Never Runs Out of Drugs

I hope this city never runs out of drugs
I hope I never have to sober up
Cuz I know I won't last
I'm afraid of that crash,
So I'll get high on the tallest building then get low... real fast!

Oh I want to see with my eyes closed
And be blind with both eyes open
I wanna trip balls in the snow
And smoke blunts while I'm disc golfing
I wanna stumble drunkenly
Down a street I've walked a thousand times
Because this shit's getting old before I am
Way before my time.

I wanna die inside my head
and find myself awake again
I wanna completely numb myself
Then learn to feel again.
And I hope heart to hearts get less frequent
When I have arrhythmia
And I'll keep taking drugs to forget
Until I have dementia!

I hope this city never runs out of drugs
I hope I never have to sober up
Cuz I know I won't last
Without my secret stash,
So I'll get high on gunpowder and have myself a blast!

Independence (Found Poem)

Non-commercial alternative rock.

Automated pitchfork sucks

Charter into newly-opened radio station

Until 12 pm on Fridays

And oversees all media

Exclusive, however wonderful, sounds

The only alternative:

Turn down, do show, play music.

A Song About Suicide and Cats

My head is ablaze and my eyes are swimming
I talk from my stomach of how I've stopped dreaming,
How it's night when I sleep and night when I awake,
And how these windowless walls hide me from the day.
But I want to give you everything I couldn't give to myself.
I want you all to live for the things that I was too afraid as hell
To.

I paid more for an empty chest of treasures
Than my younger self paid for his fleeting pleasures
So why can't either of us be happy with what we've bought,
Why have we both developed a resistance to the poison in our thoughts?
But I give you all everything and leave nothing for myself,
I want you all to live more than I've been able to in this hell.

I've been coming home daily to a shrieking chorus
An empty house filled to bursting with meaningless stories
A hundred soft bodies whispering at my legs
A hundred needy children too damn cynical to beg.
But it's a hundred mouths I need to feed before I feed myself
And if there's nothing left I guess I'll starve
Ha, like I've been doing anything else.

But my bed is never cold, and I never sleep alone,
And I'm grateful as a dying dog following a bone
Into the furnace, into the needle, into a one-sided embrace,
I wonder what cuts deeper: my silence or the blade.
But I'll pick at every scar that I can't afford to bleed,
And paint the walls with abstract signs the inhabitants can't read,
So the hunger in my heart is filled by air rushing in my throat,
And no one will have to feed my fucking cats when I go.

Mall Fire

It's loud.  So damn loud.  So damn loud
there's nothing left in the mall, but it's not closed out;
But the splitting sensation of sound. 
Clap your palms all over your ears and lobes,
Close your eyes as the flashing lights echo
A fire alarm no one is listening to. 
Keep walking.  Keep talking. 
DON'T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE?
And just keep on shopping?

"Leave.  Leave.  Leave.  Leave,"
Short of breath, it screams and screams
A sun through the hole in the ceiling.
I can feel it in me as more than noise,
An air-conditioned tickle and a choice
To keep cool as I burn, or my blood boils.
I'm running.  They keep walking.
The fire is inside me to take off when I'm ready to fly.
It's sparking and it's shocking.

No one makes a move, no one gives
A shit and yet they still want to live
And yet don't make a move for the exit.
We all cheer when the alarm falls quiet,
We all cheer and cheer and cheer and riot,
But whatever this is I refuse to buy it.
Keep joking.  Keep choking.
How many stores shut their gates to our flaming hands that day?
Just enough to keep us hoping.

Softly Spoken, Hardly Broken

It starts with a bang and ends in silence,
Flashing hints of far-off violence,
And puddles scattering so far apart
I expected to see some fuckin' stars.
But I've got nothing if not a hundred
Drops of rain and distant thunder
Until the day the sun splits the clouds
I will not set foot outside my house,
And on the day the sun splits the clouds
I will not set foot outside my house.

My fluorescent light-bulb tan looks fine,
I keep the sun from my eyes but I'm still blind
And so damn deaf from talking in text
What comes next?  I forget the rest.
I'm left with nothing if not a hundred
Things I shouldn't have left unsaid
So unless I can be loud without making a sound
I will not set foot outside my house.
Oh let me be loud without making a sound
And I will not set foot outside my house.

I made a murder of a suicide,
Offered them help but just let them die.
Funny how I'm the only one still choking
It's too late now to not keep joking
Until all I have is not even a hundred
Corpses of family and my closest friends,
And as long as they promise to stick around
I'll never set foot outside my house again.
As long as they promise to stick around
I'll never set foot outside my house again.